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O What Fools | Foolery News for the Week of April 20, 2012

By April 19, 2012 No Comments

Hello, readers, and welcome to another edition of “O What Fools.” There appears to be much going on in the world of Foolery this week, so no time for my babble – let’s get foolish!

Technology may have uncovered Shakespeare’s signature

Get a signature of your very own at Etsy!

New supery dupery technology (yes that is the technical term, thank you very much) reveals a possible signature of William Shakespeare. Scientists took high-resolution photographs at a dozen different wave lengths of light, and then combined them into one super picture, if you will. This technology has been used to recover text from erased and burned documents. “Wm Shakespeare” was signed across the title page of a legal document. The signature has been recovered and cleaned up, but has not yet been authenticated. Conspiracy theorists breathe a collective sigh of relief.

 

 

 

Shakespeare sonnet app

Sorry, I know I dropped the ball on that alliteration, but I couldn’t think of an “s” word for “app.” Anyway, moving on…

The new Apple iPad app will feature video of some heavy-hitting actors reading each of Shakespeare’s sonnets. That alone should be worth the price of admission. It seems as though the app will be akin to multimedia books that have hit the market recently as it will feature video, text, and the “complete Arden notes” to the sonnets as well.

A side of Shakespeare with your Meat Loaf?

Oh, why yes, please. Does it come with gravy? Meat Loaf doesn’t leave home without his Complete Works of Shakespeare. He even acts out scenes in his room. Hence the gravy. Personally, I’d like to start a campaign for Meatloaf to put up YouTube videos of his one man Shakespeare rehearsals in his hotel room. Until then, he will perform a Henry/Falstaff scene in my mind where Henry is based on Eddie from The Rocky Horror Picture Show and Falstaff on Bob Paulson from Fight Club.

 

If Shakespeare had written…

Star Wars it would have been “The War of the Starres”. This play! ‘Tis needs must be staged!!! Follow the link for the full piece, but below is my favorite part.

SCENE 1. INTERIOR. REBEL BLOCKADE RUNNER. HALLWAY.

Her highness Princess Leia Organa is led by a troupe of Stormtroopers. On her way, she encounters Sir Darth Vader, Lord of the Sith.

Leia: ‘Pon my soul! Lord Vader. I should have known’it.

Vader: The very one stands before you. Verily, thou hast said it.

Leia: Only you would be so bold, despised sir, as to enter the Blockade Runner Senatorial. In truth, the Senate will not hear of it! I am in their service, on a mission of greatest import–

Vader: Spare me your meaningless persiflage, your highness! I know the truth, I will have it from you!

Leia: [Aside] I am afeared that he will come to it, by and by–

Vader: You are a member of that foul rabble, those most accursed wretches. You know of whom I speak! Thou art a member of the Rebel Alliance!

Leia: God’s wounds!

Vader: Thou art a traitor. Guards, do your duty!

Leia: I am abashed, yet remain unbowed.

The Stormtroopers lead her away in chains…

 

 

What if he wrote the U.S. Tax Code? Americans have just finished that most relished of pastimes – filing their taxes. Apparently, the IRS needs four times as many words as Shakespeare did to write his entire body of work to describe our ever so simple tax codes. Follow the link to see how Shakespeare might have written our tax code. I especially enjoy Shakespeare’s theoretical take on the estate tax: “a little more than kin, and less than kind” (Hamlet).

 

Happy Birthday, Billy!

This birthday is proving to be a biggie for the bard with the World Shakespeare Festival coinciding with the London Olympics.  Beginning April 23 tons of events from director talks to art installations will be taking place, along with an almost overwhelming number of intriguing productions from all over the world.

The British Museum will be featuring the exhibition, Shakespeare: staging the world, starting in July. While I have no doubt whatsoever that this will be a great exhibition – one I am sure I’d enjoy – I’d like you take a little peek at the promo for this exhibit.

Am I the only one who feels like this is some kind of Shakespeare/museum cologne ad? Seriously, I felt like Elizabeth Taylor was going to show up at the end to offer her white diamond earrings.

Alright, so you’re not a video editor who can create non-cologne-ad promos, but you still want to be involved. Maybe you can blog! Blogging Shakespeare wants to beat last year’s numbers of 99 bloggers celebrating Shakespeare’s Birthday. All you have to do is post about your love for Shakespeare. Now that’s not hard at all, right? 🙂

You can also join Las Vegas Shakespeare Company for a day. The company is looking for people to help them read Shakespeare for 24 hours straight. Just make sure you stay hydrated, and support your voice so you don’t strain it. 😉

So, you’ve got plenty of ways to celebrate Shakespeare’s Birthday. I’d now like to offer suggestions of how NOT to celebrate it. So, here are some ways to honor his memory that, while inspired by his work, are best to avoid.

10 WAYS NOT TO CELEBRATE THE BARD

1. Do not kill your brother and marry his wife. It’s really just in poor taste. And your nephew may be a really depressed and kind of angry dude. Best to steer clear of the whole situation.

2. Do not listen to any prophecies offered by any “weird sisters.” They’re weird, alright, but they’re not sisters. And don’t eat their stew either. You do not want to know what’s in there.

3. Do not tell your boyfriend, who just dumped you because he’s totally into your best friend, about said best friend’s elopement with her true love. It may end happily ever after, but there will just be a whole lot of heartbreak in between. Seriously. Worst. Plan. Ever.

4. Do not trust any man who says he’s your friend if he spends a lot of time plotting with the audience behind your back…or right in front of you. Especially if his name is Iago.

5. Do not kill your enemy’s kids and then mince them up into a pie to feed to her/him. You’ll go to jail, ’cause CSI can totally track that stuff. And it’s really not a positive way to honor the memory of William Shakespeare.

6. Do not try to take cover by dressing up as a boy if you’re a girl. It either convinces people too well or not at all, which ultimately ends up creating a whole lot of sexual confusion. Best to steer clear.

7. Do not allow yourself to be wooed by the man who just killed your husband. Especially if he’s a hunchback. It will not end well for you. I promise.

8. This one’s for the kids – do not go into the forest to look for fairies to fight over you. And steer clear of men hungry for power. Avoid high places. Don’t make suicide pacts with your lover. In fact, it may be best just to stay inside and wait to celebrate Shakespeare’s Birthday until you’re older. Or just blow up some balloons and have some cake.

9. Do not offer anyone anywhere a pound of your flesh. You will get hurt, or they will take it as a proposition. I doubt either ends well, which means all’s not well. So, don’t do it.

10. Do not rub yourself in fish, and go out into the woods to recreate “exit pursued by bear.” That will land you on the Darwin Awards for sure.

How are you celebrating Shakespeare’s birthday? Share with us on Twitter, and follow others with hashtag #ShakespeareBD. And don’t forget to weigh in with your favorite characters – #shakes10best! I want to give you some results next week, and I need your input to do it! 🙂

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